Where Did All The Time Go?
Since graduating from college I have realized something that has completely rocked my world- I have barely read. And by that I mean, I have hardly had the extra time to read. This realization has completely stunned me.
While in college, taking 18 credit hours a semester, I read more than I do now. I just can't comprehend that. I have no idea where all the time has gone. Reading has always been my passion. Talking about books and all other things book related has always been something I made time for. However, since graduating I have found that reading has taken a backseat to sleep and work (is this the horror of becoming an adult everyone warned me about???). A few years ago I managed to read 203 books while going to school full time and working two jobs!!! I look back at that now and I'm like How in the ever-loving world did I friggin do that!?!?!?!!?!
Since starting my blog and instagram I've also noticed I feel pressured to read. Something that I had never felt before. And of course, when I feel pressured to do something I ignore it with all the gusto of an angsty teen. However, reading has always been my escape, never my burden. I have been constantly contemplating about this dilemma. I wonder if blogging is worth it, is my instagram worth it? And of course, they are not. I started Literary Love Books because I wanted to share my love for reading and I started my instagram because I thought it would be fun and it would be a great place to meet other bookaholics. And don't get me wrong, it has been. I love having my blog and my instagram but I hate the pressure I have been feeling since starting both. Does anyone else feel that way?
I see other bloggers who post something every day or at least every other day. I see instagramers who post these amazing detailed and elaborate pictures that look like they take hours to make. I see all that and just feel tired- like, the pictures are pretty but I'm exhausted just thinking about all the time and energy that went into making them. I don't think I'm one of those people that can be that on all the time. I just don't have the stamina nor will-power. I also don't have the passion. I know those amazing pictures come from the heart. The people that make them love to make them. However, my passion is books not making amazing book photos. Yet, I then feel inadequate, like I'm not living up to what I'm supposed to be doing. I see those photos and those amazing bloggers that have thousands and thousands of followers and can't help but feel like a fraud. Which, I know is ridiculous.
Really, all I want to do is read. Even writing this post is bugging me because I want to be reading but I also want to contribute to my blog. I just love reading more. The time I have to actually sit down and read is so brief that it feels like cheating when I'm writing or streaming some show.
I'm wondering, how do you all find the time to read? I used to be so amazing at it but I have somehow lost my mojo. It hasn't helped I've been in a horrible reading slump this year but still. I'm only up to 27 books this year- that's so pathetic in comparison to my past numbers. Hopefully, I will fall into my usual reading groove soon because if I don't I may go mad...